2013 (left half) vs. 2016 (right half).
I may look the same, but the woman in the photos on the left half and the right half could not be more different.
It's interesting that I've been posting about #29daysofselflove when yesterday I stumbled upon a note a wrote myself on the plane back from Vegas last summer...
"This trip definitely reflected back go me how much I've grown and what a different person I've evolved into.
I can honestly say that I think I'm beautiful.
This has been a long and windy road.
The amount that I used to judge myself against other girls and their hair and makeup and outfits is simply unreal.
Feelings of insecurity would paralyze me and send me into spirals of negative thoughts and energy.
A deep pit I wouldn't get out of.
I finally felt comfortable in a bikini and danced just as hard as anyone.
It has taken me my entire life to feel comfortable in a swimsuit and I still don't feel spectacular but I don't avoid wearing a swimsuit at all costs like I used to.
Being seen by anyone in a swimsuit, let alone a bikini took me years and years to do.
Last time I was in Vegas for a girl's trip I hated my body, didn't think I was beautiful and was slightly thinner than I am now so explain that to me.
It's amazing how loud the mean girl inner critic was inside my head.
I was so, so insecure.
I can't believe the person I've become."
The struggle between insecurity, empowerment, and self love is a daily one I still face.
Some days are better than others.
I share this story not to gloat but to offer my sympathy and empathy for my fellow humans...
I know that it's not just women who face constant internal body shaming or not feeling attractive enough or comparing themselves to others.
If I think back to how in three years I have been able to migrate from a majority of the time body shaming mindset to a minority of the time body shaming mindset I think it has to do with my relentless pursuit of *personal growth* and *attempting to love myself.*
The pursuit of those two things has helped me develop mindfulness habits and behaviors, put emphasis on how and when I move my body, getting more sleep, being picky with who I give my time/energy too, continuing my education, giving and showing myself love and following my heart.
Keeping those two goals in my constant focus has really allowed me to rewire pathways in my brain, become aware of my thoughts, and tell the nasty ones to politely fuck off.
⚠️Okay, that's great Hruska, but why should I do? ⚠️
If you feel shitty about yourself the first step to take is to start tuning in to how you talk to yourself.
What kinds of thoughts are you having through out the day?
If you spoke your thoughts to your best friend - how would she react?
Start there. ✅
You can set a daily reminder to go off once or a few times a day and in that moment pause and ask yourself, "What am I thinking and feeling?"
Just get curious.
Knowledge is power.
You can't change your thoughts or beliefs without first asking inventory of them first.
Once you've started to become aware of your thoughts, the next small step is to ask yourself if it's true? ⁉️
Is there a way you could edit the thought to lessen the intensity? 🔇
If you have questions or want to talk to me more about how to change your thoughts or develop a more loving relationship with yourself, please, please, please, reach out and let's connect.
After all, it doesn't really matter how many times someone tells you you're beautiful or attractive, if you, yourself, don't believe it.
All my love,