I wish I could take your pain away.
"I wish I could take your pain away." I've often thought this when consoling friends and family. While driving home last night this thought entered my head while thinking about a dear friend going through a rough time. But then, I had another thought. "I don't wish I could take your pain away." Pain is what changes us. Pain is what shapes us. Pain is what makes us reevaluate. Pain is what humbles us. Pain is what humanizes us.
But only if we let it. So, no, I don't wish to take your pain away, but I do wish to help you to TRANSFORM it. It is not our joy that heightens the quality of our lives. It is the times we've questioned ourselves, our lives, our morals, our motives, our thoughts, our actions and fought to physically and emotionally pick ourselves up off the metaphoric or literal ground that our lives can take on a deeper meaning and purpose. It is through our own metamorphosis, through our own alchemy that we are reborn. But here's the issue. We all, in some way, shape or form, run away from our pain. We don't let ourselves feel. We don't let ourselves fall apart. We don't let ourselves cry. We don't tell anyone how much we need help. We go it alone and try, try to forget, suppress, deny and disown. Don't you see that waiting for you on the other side of your pain is the relief you seek? A version of yourself better, stronger and wiser than you are today. All you have to do is surrender. Your pain will not kill you. It will strengthen you. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying it won't suck, a lot. I'm not saying it won't take a while. But I know you can do this. I know you can surrender. Take it one day at a time and let yourself start to feel. Feel it all. Cry. Scream. Purge. Ask for help if you need. Don't forget to breathe. You are so much stronger than you think. And waiting for you on the other side of this experience is a more profound and meaningful life.